I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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