Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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