I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
