The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
