i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
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