he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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