Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
