somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
