So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize