I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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