found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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