i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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