I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Randomize
