I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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