.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
