Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
