I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
