Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
