ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
