he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
