why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
