Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
