were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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