At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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