How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
