Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
