i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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