I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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