I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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