Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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