My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I need water and some morals
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
