No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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