Your face is a jimmy john
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
