You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
