i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
