; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
