what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
