I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize