Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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