I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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