All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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