he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
