Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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