he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
