drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
