If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
the liver wants what the liver wants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
