Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
