I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
