Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I got inside last night via doggy door
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
