His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
