Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
