She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize