i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
