Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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