We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
