my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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