Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
