Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
