so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
